Unlike in the West, where marriage is
subjected to one’s own choice; in India, it is considered as an enduring unification
between two families rather than two individuals.
Indian Matrimonial Sites have taken the forefront in getting a
perfect match for you, leading to cultural union.
Arranged Marriages in India: An overview
Although the practice of finding a suitable
match for an eligible boy or a girl has changed with the advent of newspapers,
magazines or marriage websites, yet
in some parts of India, parents or the elders still take the lead in finding an
apt groom or a bride. However, unlike primitive times, today the children have
to have their consent for their chosen partner so that they can live happily
with each other post marriage.
In our country, when a marriage is
finalized by the parents or the elders, they consider a myriad of details like,
caste, the family background of the bride or the groom, educational and social
status, economic backdrop of the family, lifestyle and culture, look and appearance
of the couple, if the horoscope of the duo matches, and many more. In some
cases, even casual background verification of the individuals is performed with
the help of common friends and relatives. Such checking can provide a clear
picture about the character, habits, nature or any prior affairs of an
individual. After a successful screening
process, the acceptance comes from both the families and an enduring
relationship is established between them.
Both the prospective bride and the groom
are allowed to spend some quality time
with each other pre wedding, so that a successful arrange marriage can work out between the two .
Stand of Indian Matrimonial Sites in Shaping the Social Custom:
No doubt,
the structure of extended family has become fragile over the decades paving the
way for nuclear family. This has led to the lack of social connections which
was hugely provided by the members of a joint family. Social networks are
considered as a strong medium for the parents of the prospective couple in
finding a suitable soul mate for their offspring. However, with the prevalence of the nuclear
family concept in the urban India, the traditional way of hunting for eligible
bride and groom has undergone a change. People now-a-days prefer to seek the
help of matrimonial advertisements in newspapers, marriage bureau, online
marriage registration, Swayamvar on television, etc.
With the
progress in information technology, online matrimonial services have made it
much easier for the parents to find a suitable spouse for their kids. Many
community and free matrimonial websites
too have emerged for the convenience of the Indian families, which assures to
find a perfect match within a week. This
has probably granted the ‘veto power’ to the marriageable candidate on any
proposal introduced by their parents.
Once the prospective bride and groom is selected by the families and their kundlis matched to make sure that they have a happy married life , the big Indian wedding starts unfurling with its numerous unique culture. Marriage will happen to everyone sooner or later. May be you are busy pubbing and clubbing today but for a happy and secure tomorrow marriage is the only way out. Indian Marriages are not only about the couple, they involve the whole family. The Mehndi night is a festive night in the girl's family where professional Mehndi artists draw intricate designs in henna on the hands of the bride and other female members. During the Sangeet, professional entertainers are brought to regale the guests.
ReplyDeleteThe individuals not only marry each other but tie an everlasting bond with each other's family. The Shagun is exchanged by the prospective families which consist of numerous gifts to the soon to be the wed couples. The wedding rituals start with the Haldi ceremony that is done to purify and ready the bride and groom for their union. Haldi and oil is poured over their body and hair by the family members after which they are forbidden to leave their house.
When any one's marriage is settled, an auspicious day is fixed for the wedding. On the appointed day the bridegroom is taken in a grand procession to the bride's house. He is generally clad in white silk with saffron spots on it. He wears a crown of flowers on his head. He is seated on a fine mare and is joined by a large number of men carrying different sorts of articles of pomp and grandeur. He is accompanied by his relatives and friends who are attired in their best clothes. The children wear very gaudy dresses. The procession is generally led by a band. At intervals fire-works are let off.
When the matrimony procession reaches the bride's house, shouts of welcome in different forms rend the air. The Swaagat is the ritual to welcome the groom and his entourage by the bride's family. The kith and kin of the bride come out to receive the bride-groom and his party and conduct them to a hall richly decorated and illuminated for the occasion. The bride watches the arrival from one window of the house, careful not to gaze upon his face and then comes out to welcome him. The guests and visitors take their seats in the same hall where they are served with tea and sweets. Some who are accustomed to smoke are offered hookas. Afterwards they are led to the dining hall where sweets, pudding, puries and other dainties are lavishly served to them.
During Vidai, the bride's brother is entrusted with couple's care. The Baraat leaves for the groom’s house are announced with drum beats and is welcomed by the women of the family. The wedding reception is the party thrown by the groom's family to announce the wedding and this usually takes place a day after the wedding.
Marriage involves all-the families! And the best of all, it Creates Generations! So think guys and hail this medium of happily remaining in a long term relationship.
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ReplyDeleteYour Wedding Handbook
ReplyDeleteGet Organised
Plan your leave from work
Apply for leave work as much in advance as possible. Complete all pending tasks
and divide the workload between cooperative co - worker. “This way you can get up
to speed real quick when you return from your blessed – out honeymoon”
Delegate small wedding day tasks
Delegate duties in advance – get a couple of close friends to be by your side during
the ceremony to calm your nerves and handle the gifts, some relatives (in rotation)
to greet guests at the entrance, someone with a list of all vendor contact
information.
Have a chat with your photographer
Decide the theme you want for the marriage pictures and give the photographer a
list of moments you want captured.
Pack your accessories and wedding night bag
Pack a bag with all the accessories you’ll require to get dressed on the wedding
day. This includes jewellery, makeup, hairpins, safety pins, undergarments. Leave
this bag next to your wedding dress along with your bag of “just – in – case” items.
Also, pack a small bag to carry with you to the hotel for the wedding night. This bag
should have everything you’ll need. Besides lingerie, make sure to pack a change of
clothes for the next morning, your cosmetics pouch and a midnight snack (since no
one seems to eat at their own wedding!)
Gather Memories
Make a DVD of the days leading up to the wedding
“What I’m sure I’ll continue to find truly endearing and entertaining in the years to
come is the DVD of my wedding preparation – from the sangeet practices to the
makeup trails to some heartfelt moments with my family”
Maybe you can include messages from your close friends and family as well.
Write out ‘Thank you’ notes
A lot of people have worked tirelessly, spent lots of money and treated you like a
princess in the weeks leading up to your big day. Make some time to write
personalized cards for all of them and give it to each one before the wedding
ceremonies begin.
Look And Feel Your Best
Oodles of pampering
This is perhaps one of the most essential and enjoyable parts of your pre – wedding
routine. Book appointments at least 10 days in advance for your pre – wedding
beauty regimen, preferably at a spa you frequent. Make sure to include a stress –
relieving massage to soothe those nerves.
Get lots of sleep the night before
“No matter what beauty regiment you go through in the days before your wedding,
unless you’re well rested on the night before the big day, you will neither look nor
feel your best,”. “The last thing you need is a headache putting a
damper on your mood.” So the evening before your wedding should be a quite one –
spend quality time with your family, eat a healthy meal and get at least eight hour
of sound sleep. Eat something and use the washroom before the ceremony. You
have got a long day ahead of you. Grab a healthy snack before you put on your
makeup and use the washroom right before you head out to the mandap”
Focus on your husband – to – be
If, in spite of your best efforts, things get too chaotic, try this trick : “Every bride
will have a moment of nerves, no matter how perfect
everything around her is. It’s human nature. When this happened turned complete
focus on my handsome fiancé and on the beautiful life we were about to
embark upon together. My mind instantly quietened down and I had a lovely smile
on my face that made me look even more fabulous in the pictures”. Maybe
you could even give his friend a note to slip to your fiancé right before the
ceremony. This could pep things up a bit for the two of you and help ease the stress
too!
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